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Yes, I'm Depressed

I won't deny that I'm depressed 
because there is really no point in lying. 
If you look in my eyes, you'll see the pain
and how I've grown worn from fighting a losing battle. 
My lips used to form a smile
that would blow people away and I was always told
that my smile was beautiful and filled with joy,
but now these lips have grown numb
from letting hopeless pleas
slip from between the crevice they form.
My arms used to be clear of scars
until I fell apart and gave into my pain 
all those months ago when I just broke into pieces.
Now they have old scars from long
battles that I tried hard to win 
but ended up being defeated. 

I refuse to deny my depression
and I see no point in hiding my past pain
because I am human and sadness is human.
I've recently come to the realization depression
isn't always bad. 
It's only bad when people give in to the point
where they can no longer stand back on their feet.
Depression is a form of sadness 
that just yearns to be felt by us 
lonely creatures walking along the face of this
broken world that is drenched in sin and hate.
Depression is a human feeling. 
It's just a feeling and it's okay to feel depressed.
It's not the depression that is bad,
it's the giving in to the pain that causes
all the problems associated with the sadness. 

I am okay with being depressed
because I know that one day I'll be happy again,
that I can feel an overwhelming peace from God,
and that things will get better in due time.
I will not fight my depression;
instead, I will accept the sadness
and I will battle against the desire to give in
to the pain thrown at me. 
Depression is something every human feels
and it's not something that needs to be 
despised and hated
because our sadness and our battles against pain
is what makes us stronger.
I'd rather be strong than to be weak,
so I shall embrace the struggle and grown.

Yes, I'm depressed.
I've come to realize that depression is merely a form of sadness and is not something that is wrong with anyone. It's okay to be depressed, but it is NOT okay to give in to the pain you feel. Instead, battle your pain and get stronger through each victory. With God on your side, you can be even stronger. 

So, yes, I am depressed and I am okay with that. But I will fight my pain and not give in.
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:iconanimecutie16:
animecutie16 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Student Digital Artist
i think thats good but i been fighting almost 12 years and it just get stronger
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:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Student General Artist
go to God. it's all I can say. I'd have died long ago, I'm sure, if I didn't have him. Believe and trust.
Reply
:iconanimecutie16:
animecutie16 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Student Digital Artist
i am im just very scared
Reply
:iconartistgt:
ArtistGT Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
I know what depression feels like. In fact, i was depressed for 3 long years, because of some things that were constantly happening.(i think you know what i mean)
Depression is the knife that stabs your heart. But you have to learn to draw your blade and counter that knife.

You should try talking to someone of trust and tell that person how you feel.If you want, send me a note anytime. I will do my best to help you. ^^
Reply
:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
I've been depressed for a year, and as usual...as soon as things got better...everything came crashing down once more.
Honestly, right now...I'm not very trusting of anyone.
But I may take you up on your offer.
Reply
:iconartistgt:
ArtistGT Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
It happened to me too. Twice. Just as i tought things were going to get better from a certain point onward, it all came crashind down again. I too did not trust anyone. Not even my friends. I hid everything from everyone. My only companion was my own silence. Last year, around August, i came to see a psychologist. I did not trust her at first, because i tought the idea of telling your secrets and feelings to a stranger was complete nonsense. But now, i feel much better and i finally feel safe to give my trust to others once more. I can say my life now is a sea of roses! 

And if you do take my offer, it would make me really happy. I enjoy helping others. ^v^
Reply
:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
This is the fourth time it's happened for me. I'm not very trusting anymore. ^^;
Reply
:iconartistgt:
ArtistGT Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
Ah, dont worry about it. You will become more trusting. It's just a matter of time. ;)
Reply
:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
let's hope
Reply
:iconartistgt:
ArtistGT Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student General Artist
Everything will get better. Trust me. ^^ Have hope 
Reply
:iconbloodluststephi:
BloodlustStephi Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
I relate so much to this one.  I have several of my own scars that decorate my skin.  My souvenirs, I call them.  From a medical standpoint, I can tell you that depression is NOT something to be ashamed of.  In my scope of practice, I see this sort of thing all the time.  I have a saying that I tell my patients, and it goes a little something like this:  Depression is not necessarily a normal sadness.  Sadness occurs whenever something bad is happening in your life, like a death or a major life decision that you're uncomfortable making.  Depression, on the other hand, is being sad when you "should" be happy, as in being in love, having independence, having good friends, etc.  I think that you are taking an extremely therapeutic approach by writing all of your feelings down and also for realizing that it will eventually make you a stronger person.  Every now and then, one of my patients will happen to glance at the scars on my arms, look me dead in the eye, and I know that they know.  They know that I would never judge them, and I like to believe that it helps aid in my care for them.  I apologize for being so long-winded in this comment, but I just had to say what I felt when I read it.  I believe this poem will help others who are going through a similar pain. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm only a note away.  Please, whatever you do, continue to write.  It is very cathartic, and years from now, you may go back and read this poem and realize just how strong you became in the process.  
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:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Student General Artist
thank youuuu.

and the whole depression being sadness when you should be happy and in love (especially the in love part) is exactly what is going on in my life. I SHOULD be happy because I have an amazing guy to love and who loves me, and I have God who loves me even more, plus everyone else, but I'm not happy. For the longest time, I thought it was a really bad thing and it's only been within the last two days that I have come to realize that it's okay to be depressed because I am allowed to be so and there is nothing wrong with it for I am as human as anyone else.  And if I need someone, I will make sure to send you a note, thank you for that. :) 

And I plan to continue to write now and forever. My goal is to publish a collection of poems. :)
Reply
:iconbloodluststephi:
BloodlustStephi Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
Depression can strike anyone, even the rich and famous.  This is a story that I don't share with too many people, but I suddenly feel compelled.  Last April, my sister committed suicide.  My 23-year-old physician sister, a woman who had the world as her oyster, took her own life.  In her note she left behind to me, she told me that she had been depressed her whole life, with only lapses of happiness.  I cannot even begin to tell you how that almost killed me.  While I am not a fan of antidepressants (oddly enough, given my profession), I do know that serotonin and other chemicals can make us "feel" depressed.  That's not to say that I completely disagree with antidepressants; I just am more aware of the side effects than most people.  They do work for some...each person just has to find their own balance.  Love is a funny emotion...it can make you feel on top of the world and it can also bring you to the depths of despair.  I don't think it will ever be completely understood; it just IS.  There is a reason you are still here, and you will make it through this.  I won't say that you will remain unscathed, but the emotional scars will make you a stronger person.  Please do publish a book; you never know....to quote one of my favorite authors, "the life you save may be your own."
Reply
:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Student General Artist
I'm like almost in tears now, like trying not to cry. I'm sorry for what happened. 

I've never taken medicine for depression. I've found my peace through God, my family, boyfriend, and friends. The people that keep me living. 

And love is funny. My relationship has been bittersweet. (this one anyways. the first one was a disaster and is what sparked my depression) but like, it's so painful because of all the chaos and crap people give us, but it's been absolutely amazing and I KNOW, like I literally KNOW that I have found THE ONE. 

And I will. I intend to. Poetry has been my way to vent and just get my feelings out there and I want my words to encourage, inspire, and show people that they are never alone because there are others who deal with the same problems and face similar trials. 
Reply
:iconbloodluststephi:
BloodlustStephi Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
Hang in there; you're never alone.:)
Reply
:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Student General Artist
:) that is something I can never forget. 
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