Threads, weaving in and out
of the broken pieces;
pulling each piece
back together once more.
Slowly, pieces become a whole
with stitches holding
it all together as one.
This worn heart of mine.
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Stand UpStand Up
Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself
because one day, the people you once called friend
will turn and kick you down.
And sometimes, others will merely laugh and watch
and no one will stand up for you.
That’s when you have to stand up
for yourself; alone.
Learning that can be quite painful;
I had to learn that the hard way.
So many people left me behind.
So many people kicked me to the ground.
So many people lied to my face.
So many people abandoned me.
So now I stand up for myself,
not tolerating other people’s harsh words,
and defending myself when threatened.
No longer will I be looked at as weak
and no longer will people walk over me.
I’m picking myself up
and walking on my own.
I don’t need someone to hold me up
for I’m strong enough.
I Want LoveI Want Love
I want love, but not the kind
that you read about in fairy tales.
I want a love that's real.
I want someone who will stay by my side
even when things get hard to handle
and it feels like everything is crashing down.
I want someone to be willing
to lay their life down for me
as I would do the same for them.
I want someone who will hold me
when I cry,
listen when I need to vent,
and respect me.
I want a love that is faithful...
a love that is true.
Am I Wrong?Am I Wrong?
Am I wrong to live in fear
of the ones closest to me betraying me?
I mean, after all, those I once called 'friend'
no longer speak to me,
no longer smile at me,
no longer want me around.
The ones who promised to be there
left me behind in the dust.
So, am I wrong to be terrified to trust
when someone says that they'll never leave?
Am I wrong to always have to watch my back
to make sure
that a 'friend'
will not betray me?
Tell me, am I wrong
to be afraid of being broken again?
Living in DarknessLiving in Darkness
Blindfolded by my own misery,
there is no light for me to see.
My depression has become my friend
because it’s persistence never ends.
Never once has it failed to thrive
and I won’t deny that it makes me feel alive.
I’ve been drowning for far too long.
Is there a point in being strong?
Pain has become my blanket at night.
It’s the place I crawl to when I lose the fight
against the insanity that creeps at my mind.
One day, maybe peace I will find
and maybe I can return to the light.
But for now, the end is not in sight
so I will live in the darkness that binds me,
praying on day, joy I will see.
Watching over me and standing up
to put all the bullies in their place,
my protector always does what he can
to make me feel like I'm safe.
Caring and loving all the time
just to make sure that I'm okay.
This amazing man do I love
and I trust him all the same.
He's like an older brother to me
and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
He shows me that I belong
and he means so much to me.
Relationships are held together with trust,
whether it be romantic or platonic,
we all need to be able to trust.
So then, how does one respond when
they have been hurt over and over again
to the point where they can no longer trust.
I feel like a failure,
fighting to stay alive.
All I do is upset and hurt people
when I'm just tying to be good.
Maybe it would be better
if i just stopped
Beautiful NightmareBeautiful Nightmare
Hair of raven black and eyes of ocean blue;
she’s the only one who’s heart is true.
Day in and day out she loves and so
my love for her will surely grow.
By my side is she each and every day,
and when the night hits she runs away
to meet me in my dreams.
She’s watching over me, so it seems.
I never want her to flee
because without her, sanity I cannot see.
When she is by my side
I feel like I never need to hide.
She makes me feel emotions
that I never knew and they roar like the oceans.
I feel a longing I cannot name
and a lust I cannot tame.
There is sorrow that fills me up to the brim
and every now and then I feel grim.
Whenever I sleep I’m surrounded by fears
that run down my face as tears
until she comes to me in my sleep.
My heart she will keep.
Life no longer seems fair
because she is my beautiful nightmare.
Past LifePast Life
Memories of the past
come rushing into my mind
like violent waters
overtaking the land.
I'm submerged in the images
of the girl I used to be
playing on repeat
in my mind.
Once upon a time,
I was pure and innocent.
I had a heart without a crack
and a body without scars.
And now look where I am.
With heart shattered
in my hands
and my arms marked,
I stand and remember
the person I once was.
All because of a picture
of an all too familiar face
of the one that I first
gave my heart to;
the one who broke it
in a past life.
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
A note for people who need a kind wordJust a note,
For anyone who has felt,
Like they have been broken.
Just like an old toy.
Thrown and tossed around like a rag doll.
To anyone who feels,
They re tearing at their seams.
And they re losing all control.
A note to the little girl,
And waited for her mother.
Or her father.
To come back home,
To keep her safe,
While she cried.
Or to at least of said goodbye.
And wishes they d come back and tell her,
A note to the lonely boy.
So quiet and reserved.
Who sits and takes their cruel words.
Thinking it s what he deserved.
To be thrown into lockers,
And thinking he can find something better,
With the company of a razor,
Rather than a human.
Because humans have caused him more hurt,
Than the blades that pierce his skin.
A note to the beautiful girls.
Who walk for miles,
Until they have blisters on their feet.
Because they will not accept the defeat,
Of having to see numbers,
That tell them they are not worthy.
They are not pretty.
And they should not be living.
If they c
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More