Misery Loves Company
Misery loves company,
don't you know?
And pain, it demands to be felt.
Misery loves company,
don't you know?
And pain, it demands to be felt.
Dear LoverDear Lover,
I thank you for all you have done.
For all of your efforts for me.
You are my one.
My one and only,
I need no other,
for dear lover,
you stand above any other.
You've shown me what it is to be happy
and how it is to feel cared for.
You've shown me what it means to be free.
Dear lover I promise
You mean the world to me.
UntitledYou think your petty words will make me dance?
Or that you can keep me in a trance?
Talking crap all about me.
You're not the man I thought you'd be.
Honestly, you're not a man at all.
Only children try to make others feel small.
Real men don't cheat and lie.
Little boys are the ones who make people want to die.
Too long did I let you rule my life.
Too long did I think you were protecting me from strife.
But I've realized something new.
The cause of my pain was only you.
For no other reason was I really depressed.
For no other person did I get so stressed.
For no other cause did I always cry.
For no one else did I have the urge to die.
Now I know you never loved me.
You are clearly incapable of that, I see.
To think I thought you were worth crying for.
Don't you get it now? You're merely a bore.
What's more, you blamed it all on me.
But you're the only one whom in me can the fault see.
I never cheated, and I never lied.&
UntitledI always looked up to you,
always defended you.
I tried to have faith in you,
but you proved you were too
good to be true.
But I never expected you to stoop
so low and accuse me of lies.
When all I ever told anyone
was the story of my side.
It's not til now that I realize
that you were never in love.
You were the one that lied.
I was only ever a toy.
And don't even deny it.
Your words and actions have shown the truth.
You had a girl who would've done
anything you asked.
But its nice to know you never cared.
So I can move on just fine.
Honestly I don't need you
so don't be so arrogant.
Remember, you were hardly
there for me anyways.
You weren't there when I
But here's the thing,
now you're gone
and a weight has been lifted.
You call me suffocating,
I call you abusive.
Always doing what you wanted.
You always scolded me.
Treated me like a child.
But hey, I like someone new.
Someone who cares, un
UntitledIs it bad that I find it funny
how people come and go?
They walk right into your life
only for a part of the show.
They make you think you're important
and that they really care.
But when you need them most,
they're never there.
What's worse is thinking they're your friend
and talking to them all day.
But then they stop and disappear,
clearly having nothing to say.
You ask if you did something wrong,
but the answer is always no.
And yet when you need someone,
away from you they go.
Or then you have the "friends"
who lie right to your face.
They put on an act and wear a mask
and try to put you in your place.
They cheat and lie
and they try to make you feel small.
And then convince you
they'll catch you when you fall.
But of course they don't
and you're left all alone
feeling hopeless and desperate
without a place to call home.
You grow more tired
until you break
and the fallen pieces
are more than you can take...
Imperfectly PerfectImperfectly Perfect
Two different colors:
black and white.
Two different directions:
left and right.
Two different feelings:
chaotic and quiet.
Two different types:
controlling and a riot.
We're imperfectly perfect
and it confuses me so.
Not sure how we're working
but I don't wanna go.
It's both painful and peaceful
and imperfectly perfect.
But baby, let me tell you,
it's totally worth it.
UntitledSometimes I feel
like my cries can never be heard.
Just screaming into the darkness
only to have silence echo back.
No one notices.
No one hears.
They tell you they care.
That they're always gonna be there.
But I know one day
They'll walk away.
And then I'll be here alone again.
Fighting to stay alive.
Trying hard to survive.
Because of Him...Because of Him...
Can't wrap my mind around what's going on...
Nothing makes sense anymore...
Everything appears to be
If it weren't for him...
I think I would've lost it by now.
Surrounded by so much chaos;
the stress makes my
Barely holding on, I grasp his hand
and he pulls me to his chest.
There's no safer place than that.
He's the only thing keeping me sane.
The only reason I'm still here.
He's the only I haven't given up.
Always reminding me that I'm
And I can't thank him enough
for everything that he's done.
For going through hell and back with me
and never leaving...
never giving up...
and always loving...
Bad HabitsBad Habits
We all have fatal flaws,
the ones that send us spiraling downward
and make it so hard to get back up.
These bad habits that are constantly raging
within our minds.
Maybe it's time I confronted mine...
Looking back on past pains and unwanted memories
are a foolish thing to do.
We cannot change the past
for we must live in the present.
But how can one live
when the haunting traces of months ago never cease?
It gets to the point where you want to push
everyone away even though you want nothing more
than for them to hold you close.
You stop trusting those who truly care for you
and you become buried in a depression
that seems like it cannot be lifted.
No one seems to understand how you feel.
You get scolded and guilt tripped,
the things that you're terrified of.
You're constantly watching for those who would
dare try to manipulate you
or shove your face in the dirt and make you grovel.
You become so scared that you break down at random times.
You feel like you're losin
Ode to AflackOde to Aflack
Dear Aflack, my fine poetic friend,
I cannot see why you cannot just accept your name.
It is a name, of such power,
you do not see the beauty that is your name.
Oh what glorious rays of joy
does your name send forth.
So how, my friend, can you hate it so?
Please...love your name.
It is the only one you have.
LessonsIn forty-seven minutes I will be twenty-one years old and my throat is tight with this notion
that every passing moment is a boat taking me further from the boy on the side of the road.
I am terrified of the swelling tide of time, the ripples I will create,
the creases that will be etched into my face
without the laughter lines I know he would have left and
one day someone will ask me how many siblings I have and I will hesitate
because he will be so distant and I can feel it coming.
I never intended to swim without him, but
I am drowning under the weight of pocket-stone-people,
the ones I love who he has never met and won't ever meet
and its forty-four minutes until I turn twenty-one when I realize the relentlessness of this;
how I will age away from him and I am disgusted with myself, with his ashes on the bookshelf,
with this world that keeps making mistakes that can't be fixed.
Twenty one years old and I am a semi-colon, a shuddering pause on the floor,
remembering the time I broke
FarewellThe sudden void into the unhinged mind of a demented soul,
The rapture of a lucid dream, falling into an obliterated consciousness
The devastating coma of a genius protagonist, completing the epic tale of a life
It was all but a dream, a chimera, an excruciating lie.
The nothingness digging its claws into a cryptic vision,
The finality of a banal, vain existence
Never to be remembered, nor praised for its perpetual battle against agony.
There is nothing,
Nothing but the sharp sound of shattering glass,
Nothing but a hollow shell on the edge of the world.
This is where I depart, this is where I bow down,
This is where my crude hatred vanishes with my existence
There is nothing but a vague memory, of a silent soldier walking against the wind,
The pallid remembrance of a once scintillating simper
Good fortune to you all, for my path lies beneath the river
And with it, a single breathe to be released upon all as a somber farewell.
beautiful.i hate my stretchmarks
the vertical the horizontal the ones running miles down my arms
stripes on a circus tent
my body is a freak show
75 cents a ticket
they are the bars on a cage
trapping me inside this prison cell of flesh
(not letting me run away
from all i once was)
reminding me that i am
still that little girl who
was told that she had too
much weight in her stomach
and in her thighs
to be called beautiful
my stretchmarks are the debris from when i tried to collapse upon myself
tried taking up less space
because beautiful is small beautiful is skinny
diets upon diets
because i've been told that
i am only worth the sharpness of my collarbone
why i never wrote you a poem.last summer i tried
to use the words that you fell asleep to
to write you a love song but
every time i tried
my fingers froze up.
i failed the test of describing you
in a paragraph
in a sentence
in a word
there is nothing in my head adequate enough
to describe how you look
on the train station platform
when you smile at me.
i can tell you that
my heart climbs into my throat and
my body prickles with heat and
everything disappears, for just a moment, but
the thing i cannot describe
your mouth caresses my name
like it’s the most beautiful sound
it’ll ever know,
like it understands me perfectly,
you are not made of verses.
you have no meter.
you are not written in stanzas
that i understand
and i find myself captivated
at how beautifully complex
your language is.
you say i’m the mesmerizing one, but, baby,
you've stumped me.
you have left a girl,
a person who wants to build their life
girls that photosynthesizeI.
i asked my mother to buy me sweetener,
and she said "no," and she said "no,
sugar is better for you it's more natural"
so i shrug and i clamp my teeth over
my tongue and sew my mouth closed
and i steal sweet n' low
from the pizza place
my friends watch me pick at my lettuce,
a rabbit-food-lunch that makes me sick
to my stomach, and when i run to the
bathroom during science class they
follow me and ask what i ate for breakfast.
i say "waffles" because they can't know
i won't let them stop me
my therapist asks me if i think i'm sick
and i'm not, i'm strong, but i can't be
not here not here, and the $$$$$$$$
are ticking away as i consider my answer
so i say "yes" and she asks me what
i will become and i say "better"
because that's all they want to hear
my dietitian sets up a rough meal plan
and she says i won't gain weight on it
somehow i trust this woman with art
on the walls of her office and i pick
through the day in corn-kernel bites,
Dear Homophobic ParentsDear homophobic parents,
How the fuck do you think it makes me feel
When you walk out of the room crying
Because you can’t stand the thought of something I can’t control.
I’ll tell you that it makes my insides burn.
The living room feels like a closet.
Suffocating, and yet I can breathe fine.
I am choking on the air,
Polluted by your homophobic slurs.
Making uneducated guesses about things you know nothing about.
Someone ought to teach you to look shit up
Before you go about, shouting your false claims to the world.
My very existence is an error.
Some messed up chemical defect that went wrong,
I don’t belong
I am the Titanic,
To you I am supposed to be perfect
I am supposed to be straight, and happy, and fine.
But I am so very far from fine,
When my lungs are filling up with water,
Your words are an ice berg,
And I am sinking fast.
Why I DanceI dance as if I am sick,
And the movement is medication.
As if getting up in the morning just to practice is the only motivation
To stay awake.
Because well- worn soft shoes
Feel like home.
The world is cold, and lonely.
But when I dance, there is a fire inside my heart, warm and lively.
I feel like a bird,
Like I am able to fly as high as I want.
Gravity, I taunt
As I laugh in its face.
Because the Earth was never a place
Because leaping across dance floors,
Allows me to soar
Higher than I could in my dreams.
Hard shoe dances make me feel powerful.
Like a raging storm at sea.
My stamps, and clicks are crashing waves.
But I am also the sea breeze.
Strong and graceful.
When I dance I feel like I am trading
Secrets with the universe.
My head is clear,
And my will power is strong.
I am a force to be feared.
On bad days,
The rhythms of hard shoes sound like a heart- beat.
A life line.
And I’ll dance until my feet bleed
Just to feel something.
Because dancing is the only thing
A Letter to the Girl who Hates her BodyA letter to the girl who hates her body.
A letter to that girl
Who scrolls through tumblr.
Admiring all of those models.
With thigh gaps that look cute with skirts.
And a waist that you can barely see.
A letter to the girl
Who looks at models,
For their curves.
The way their hips go outwards
And their size D cup breasts.
Please don't look in the mirror,
And hate the girl you see.
That girl is you
And she should be loved unconditionally.
Because you deserve love.
And how much love is not determined on your waist size,
Whether you're chubby or skinny
You're still so very pretty.
You're so perfect.
So for every time you look in that mirror.
And tell yourself you aren't worth it.
That you're arms are too big,
Your hips aren't big enough.
I am a woman.
I am strong.
I have a body like a castle.
A kingdom made just for me.
And I will not destroy that castle,
By trying to starve myself.
By taking brick by brick and dismantling it