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Submitted on
August 3
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Can I Just Be Real?

Can I just be real, just for a moment
and tell you who I really am and where I've been?
Can I drop the formalities and be myself
and let you into my world,
show you the pain behind my smile,
and the tears hidden in my eyes?
Let me open up and share my story,
the pain of my past
and the misery I've felt. 

I've grown up in a Christian household
but I chose to call myself a Christ follower.
For years, life was amazing 
and then I entered freshmen year
when I fell in love with a boy
with height of 6'2"
whom I thought looked upon me
like I was a diamond among rocks.
I gave my heart to him 
and since then it has never been whole.

He treated me like a toy;
like I was his property and he had the right
to put me through hell 
and send me spiraling into depression. 
He left me in tears with the shattered
pieces of my broken heart in my hands
not once, but twice 
because I was so foolish as 
to go back and give him
a second chance.
Stupid move on my part. 

For months I suffered and fell further
into depression and I gave in to my pain.
Inked upon my skin were words of negativity
and I looked in the mirror 
with disgust at my own reflection.
I wanted to disappear.
I wanted to feel pain because
I couldn't feel joy. 
I didn't want to be living 
in this miserable, sinful world 
anymore. 

Then God brought me a friend
that would be used to help me pick up
my broken pieces so that I could be
put back together again.
Months after this young man came
and kept my mind sane so that I could not
give in to my pain so much 
that I would give up my life
because scratches on my arms
weren't enough, 
we became one in our hearts
and pursued a relationship more than
just friends. 

Even though I had support from my love,
I gave in to my pain still
and kept digging my nails in to my skin
and now I'm left with scars on my arms
that I chose to wear unashamed
because I have overcome them
and I have been made 
victorious through my struggles 
and I have grown strong.
Life is still chaotic
and my heart is still damaged;
cracked but bandaged, glued, and sewn.
I choose to stand strong
and embrace my pain because I am not weak.

Thank you for bearing with me
as I have shared my story,
but what is the point of writing
if one can't be real?
just a little story in a poem about my past. It gives a little bit of insight as to why I write what I write. I just want to be real with you guys. 
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:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Student Writer
Hug 
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:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Huggle! 
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:iconwheresajacket:
WheresAJacket Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
it's still a good story. 
Reply
:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you Love 
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:iconwheresajacket:
WheresAJacket Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
your welcome  :)
Reply
:iconelectricweasle:
ElectricWeasle Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Kao Emoji-93 (Excitement) [V5] 

feel free to roam through the rest of my work and maybe critique it if you like. Gotta know what kind of improvements I need to make and stuff like that. 
Reply
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